Shades of Cool
“I want to work with the nonchalant dreadhead.” “No, I want to work with the nonchalant dreadhead.” No, you do not.
Defined by Cambridge as a calm behavior that suggests you are not interested or do not care, nonchalance is a trait that contrasts the familiar concept of “OA” (over-acting) in Filipino culture. In today’s society, nonchalance has become the epitome of being cool. We’re amazed by individuals effortlessly exuding an air of indifference and sparking intrigue or mystery. The iconic internet meme of “nonchalant dreadheads” is merely a symbol of this cultural obsession. Its universal appeal lies in the desire to project confidence and control during the tumultuous years of youth. However, this pursuit of indifference often comes at the cost of authenticity, as young people, caught amid identity crises, may adopt a facade that distances them from their true selves and authentic connections. Thus, the cultural idealization of nonchalance is a deceptive facade that hinders genuine relationships and emotional development, ultimately displaying a false representation of “coolness.”
People often strive to appear nonchalant to convey an air of indifference—like nothing could ever disrupt their inner peace. It’s almost as if a bubble was formed, isolating the individual from the problems around them. For instance, a person's nonchalant response to a friend's emotional distress can create a barrier, making the friend feel unheard and unimportant. Others are given the impression that they do not care about anything and would not want to waste their precious breath on something that does not concern them. Despite its superficiality, nonchalance remains a common goal. And even though it’s a misrepresentation of who one is, individuals may end up being liked for the facade rather than who they actually are.
Isolated, individuals may find themselves trapped in a perpetual identity crisis. However, the attempt to shield oneself from the world only adds more fuel to the flame, leading to a host of mental health issues. Emotional intelligence, a cornerstone of personal development, is compromised when emotions are bottled up, leading to anxiety, depression, and even physical ailments. Internal conflicts are formed, making one wonder who and what they should be rather than who they naturally are, which takes a toll on self-esteem. By escaping insecurities instead of embracing them, individuals miss out on the richness and depth of life experiences meant to be lived out.
People have embraced nonchalance lately because it’s all the rage, but it is, in truth, a coping mechanism. This quality supposedly makes them appear resilient and unshaken by whatever life throws their way, distancing themselves from failure and the emotional turmoil of life's challenges as if they never existed in the first place. Nevertheless, while nonchalance may offer temporary relief, it gives the victim a fake sense of control. After all, the alleged benefits of nonchalance are all in one’s imagination and worldview, starkly contrasting the realities we are living in.
In essence, the cultivated image of nonchalance is a misleading portrayal of coolness and healthy emotional well-being. Emotional expression is not a sign of weakness but a strength that encourages empathy and connection. We must accept that genuine confidence and self-security come from coming to terms with ourselves, even with all our flaws. The same goes for accepting others for their unique identities instead of discrimination. Vulnerability should be nurtured instead of shunned, creating the need for safe spaces such as discussion groups where individuals can express themselves freely. By prioritizing genuine relationships over superficial ones, we can cultivate a world where genuineness is valued and appreciated. After all, when authenticity in a person is absent, can a relationship truly be considered authentic?
